Judgmental moms? No not us …. as we all hide in the darkest corner of the room. Moms… I think it is safe to say that we can all admit we have judged another mom at some point or another. We aren’t perfect, and we can’t expect to be…. entering motherhood actually put a lot more stress on us. So why do we roll our eyes or point our fingers? Is it to take the spotlight off of us? We all feel insecure about motherhood… we make mistakes… we regret actions and words spoken each and everyday… but this is what helps us get up every morning, throw on our mom cape and strive to be better.
This bible verse always comes to mind: Luke 6:37- Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plan in your own eye?
We are all sinners…. we have all more than likely either thought negative about someone or flat out said it. I know I have! But when it comes to motherhood, we all take it a little more seriously than we did in high school about the not so fab outfit we wore that day. Being judged as a mom feels like a stab in the back… not only is it attacking us as mothers, but we feel like it is an attack on our kids. And when it comes to our kids….. we throw on our armor (usually just bra pads and formula bottles… but hey there’s nothing more scarier than a mom on a mission)…. and prepare for battle.
As passionate as we are about parenting, I want to remind all moms that we all have our own battles. Our battles are just different. Whether we’re facing the whiner, the runner, the back talker, or the tantrum thrower….. we’re all doing the best we can.
We all know motherhood is and won’t ever be perfect. We need one another for support and validity that we aren’t insane. To swap stories and laugh together as mothers of Christ. To hold each other up when we see another mother in need.
As a mom… I want to challenge myself and other moms to slap our pointing fingers and tame our quick to speak tongues….. and instead lift one another up. Let’s Captain Planet our way through motherhood together… with our powers combined.. we can only get stronger! Because being a mom….. is hard.
Matthew 15: 11- It’s not what goes into your mouth that defines you; you are defined by the words that count out of your mouth
The poem by Jen Hatmaker really sums it all up. It’s a keeper.
A Fairly Lame Ode to Mothers
(excerpt from Out of the Spin Cycle by Jen Hatmaker)
An ode to the marvelous woman called “Mother”
Though not one of us is exactly like another.
From the second we’re born to the minute we die
Our preferences are as limitless as stars in the sky.
We might have been perfectly gracious before
But childbirth entered us in the Mommy War.
Rather than letting everyone else be
We criticize parenting that isn’t exactly like . . . me.
So once and for all let me put this to rest
None of us owns the title of “best.”
Natural childbirth does not make you a hippy
Epidurals are not just for women who want to feel trippy.
In a bathtub with a doula or in a hospital bed
We all got a baby with limbs and a head.
Nursing is great if nothing goes wrong
But some nipples turn inward and refuse to play along.
This is a choice for each mom–it’s her route
So it’s just A + B and everyone else can C their way out.
Schedules and timers do not make you cruel
Feeding on demand does not make you a fool.
In the nursery with a monitor or in the family bed
Every chick gets to pick where her baby lays his head.
If I see one more mom roll her eyes at “organic . . .”
“Partially hydrogenated” throws some of us into panic.
But neither judge Sonic burgers and fries
Some of us just want to enjoy food before we die.
Preschool, home school, public, or Montessori
Listen, my friends, and I’ll tell you a story:
Two moms differed on favorite school trends
Their kids turned out pretty much the same. The end.
If a girl gets the title of “mom” accidentally
The worst thing we can do is treat her judgmentally.
How about some love, some help, some advice?
She needs our love and we shouldn’t think twice.
Discipline through various methods will prevail
Look, we’re all just trying to keep our kids out of jail.
These things are just preferences, not right or wrong
What matters more is teaching our kids to get along–
To love and to share, to speak gently and kind,
To obey so that mom won’t go out of her mind.
Showing them Jesus is our common ground
Teaching them how he can always be found.
He’s present in public school and Waldorf (so trendy)
He’s over at Whole Foods but also at Wendy’s.
Jesus never cared about these sorts of things
It’s our hearts that he wants and the worship we bring.
It’s time for us moms to declare a truce
Regardless if we buy Capri Sun or 100 percent juice.
My way is not your way, and your way isn’t mine
But both of our kids will turn out just fine.
Rather than judging and looking down our noses
Let’s enjoy the common ground motherhood poses.
As believers, we all love the same good Lord
We all have children who tell us “I’m bored.”
We all need more sleep than these tiny five hours
Most of us struggle to find time for a shower.
We haven’t been to the bathroom alone in an age
Our mothers have all told us, “Relax, this is just a stage.”
We all love our babies so much we could die
We’d take a bullet for each one without batting an eye.
Though we are different, we’re in the same tribe
Motherhood requires a similar vibe–
Love and affection, sacrifice and grace
Laughter, which keeps the whole mechanism in place.
Luke 6:37- Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
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