Yes I am referring to myself. I am completely and madly in love with my two babies. I never imagined myself being this person… feeling this type of love. But here I am… feeling a feeling that I could not possibly attempt to explain in words.
I am the mom who never leaves her kids. It’s not because I am unable to… trust me there are PLENTY of people who would absolutely love to take care of my kids and give me a break…. but I just can’t and truthfully do not desire to.
No I definitely do not think it is wrong to leave your kids when needed, but I also don’t think it is wrong to not leave your kids either. It all goes back to not judging other moms that I wrote about previously.
It is just harder for me to leave my kids. It is something within me. I get a feeling of discomfort when I leave them… or giving anyone else the responsibility of taking care of them. It is something I cannot even explain. I miss them within minutes of not being around them.
An older mom told my sister these words that pretty much sum up how I feel, “I had my babies, so they are my responsibility to take care of.” That’s it. I’ve had to take on responsibility all my life. There was nothing to fall back on. My mom has always taught us to be strong, independent woman. It’s all I know. So when I had children…. the need to stand tall and take on responsibility quadrupled.
Having these feelings have left me feeling alone in a lot of social settings. I am the odd mom out (besides in my sister circle… due to the fact they were raised the exact same way of course).
Since my kids were born, I have been told these same lines up until this day:
“Mary, you need to leave your kids every once in a while.”
“Girl, you need a break.”
“You and Brent need to go on a vacation.”
And I say the same phrase, “I am just not ready.”
That is the most honest phrase I can respond with. Maybe one day I will be ready…. but right now with my kids being 1 and 2 years old…. that day does not seem to be anytime soon if it happens at all.
All mothers are different. It doesn’t mean we all aren’t equally great…. we are just different. Those differences come from our own experiences. Our obstacles in life are what makes us who we are. So when thinking back about why I am the mother I am today it all goes back to the same place…..
Growing up, I experienced first hand what it was like to be raised in a broken home. I say broken home loosely. I LOVE my childhood…it is what made me who I am today. My parents got divorced when I was very young, and we grew up seeing the life of a mom raising four girls on her own.
With my dad not able to be around a lot (he was not an absent father… it was just harder because he lived in another state), I have always been jealous of my friends who seemed to have it all. They would go on family trips, have dinner together, and I would truly feel the love of a family with a father at home. Even though, I am not naive to think it was all roses and rainbows…. I have always wanted that perfect family to call my own.
Now my dream has actually came true. God has blessed me with a wonderful family I can call my own. I met the man of my dreams, and we have two wonderful kids together. So if you’re wondering why I am obsessed? Well I think I have answered your question.
I have held on so tight to my little family. I don’t ever want to let go or miss a moment of it.
Do we have hard times? UM DUH! But I push thru them… and I feel like I become a stronger mom each time.
Are there moments I just want to lay in bed all day? DEFINITELY! I am just as exhausted as the next mom…. but it’s what makes my world go round.
Do I miss going out with the ladies? YES, and I still do get time with the gals when the babies are asleep. It is just different time.
For me…. nap time, quick errands I run while the husband is watching the kids, random date nights, and our time together when the kids go down for the night is enough of a break for me. Truly… there are mornings I cannot wait for them to wake up, so I can see them. If that makes me crazy… so be it.
But being home with my little wolf pack is all I have ever wanted. It is who I am. It is who I want to be. It is something I never want to change.
First it was me.
Then it was we.
Brooks made three.
We said “Gee”.
And out came sweet pea.
(Obsessed with This is Us. It is a must watch).
1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
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