Misery loves company.
Yep. It is true.
We don’t like to feel alone or feel like evil people when we are the only ones being the stick in the mud. We need 1 or even better … 50 other sticks in the mud to keep us company. When no one catches the bait, we even start to remind them of their own past situations to encourage them to get on the negative train.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
What if we took a different route?
Don’t get me wrong….. this mom vents like no other. Being a stay at home mom, even the UPS guy may hear me venting. Walking up to the door with a smile and a package, and quickly running away from the crazy mom who can’t seem to figure out that life is just hard sometimes.
Let me backtrack a little. I do feel there is a healthy way to vent. We need to talk to other moms for advice, to help us along the way, and to help us not feel so crazy. My thing is…. we vent and there is no resolution. All we do is work one another up, so we get off the phone angrier than we were before.
So let’s try this again. What if we vented in a healthy way? Shared our worries… what ticked us off that day…. the fact our patience is hanging on by a thread…and actually found a resolution or some sort of positive out of the situation.
1 Thessalonians 5:11- Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Why shouldn’t we help a girl out? Pick up another mom when the day just isn’t going the right way? Helping our fellow mom (and I mean TRULY helping them) isn’t chiming in and saying “I just can’t believe she said that. I would have yanked her up by her hair and chopped her eyelashes off.” Now…. you could start off like that (I guess), but what if we first let them know we understand why they feel the way they do then follow with a brighter side of things?
Hebrews 10:24-25 – And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Not only will it help us feel better or view our situation in another light, but speaking negatively will only fill your heart and mind with those thoughts. The devil will prowl on those words. He will hold onto them and use them against you. That small seed will eventually be fully grown over time. Then what? You repeat the cycle? Now it’s worse than before.
Moms (well pretty much everyone) have a very bad habit of talking bad about their husbands, parents, in laws, frustrations with the kids, other moms, and heck…. ourselves.
Let’s take this conversation for example-
Mom 1: “Helga! I have to tell you what my husband did yesterday. I am seriously about to lose it on him!”
Mom 2: “Girl what? I am about two seconds from knocking mine upside the head!”
Mom 1: “He came in yesterday…. knowing I was EXHAUSTED….. sat down in his little recliner… and did NOTHING to help! Kids running around like chickens with their heads cut off. He literally undressed in his recliner. His clothes are still in a pile in the living room to prove it. Not only that, but there is a mud trail from the door to his seat. As if he needed the trail to find his way back out! I just can’t do it anymore. He is so lazy and doesn’t even think about how I have tried to keep the house clean ALL DAY!”
Mom 2: “Oh have mercy on us both! My husband decided he would have a midnight feast!! He LITERALLY woke up at midnight and fried him some eggs and bacon. I woke up to a kitchen splattered with grease, egg yolk, and pans up to the ceiling. Girl…. I cleaned that kitchen last night before I dragged myself to bed! Then he comes in the bed after he eats his feast and decided he wanted some loving. This mom is exhausted… you hear me? My 2 year old didn’t sleep a wink the night before! PLUS he smelt like a freaking waffle house!! How is that supposed to turn me on? Maybe turn my stomach on! ”
I am sure all moms conversations sound very similar (with a little exaggeration of course). The thing is…. the more we talk negative about our husbands the more we get them and us worked up. Like I said before…. I get venting. Healthy venting.
The conversation could have started the exact same way, but ended on a positive note. Helga could have reminded her that her husband is probably just exhausted from a long day at work. That sometimes it is hard as moms to look thru the father’s goggles of life. Who knows what he dealt with that day that caused him to fall straight onto the recliner. And friend 1 could have reminded Helga that a men’s love language is physical. Even though he definitely didn’t choose the right time to get that loving, maybe she should show him some love the following night to fill his void.
Proverbs 27:17 – Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
As much fun as it is to vent and be negative, finding the positive in a situation will lift your spirit, and the tiny corners of your mouth.
As moms…. we need our girlfriends to talk it out…. I just want to challenge myself and other moms to lift one another up in the end.
Ephesians 4:29- Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
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